MJ Winner

I have a winner for the MJ thriller ticket give away, but he says he joke is too "twisted" for his real name to be published, so I'll refer to him as Mr. Coke Sams. His joke is as follows:

"When I tell people that I had sex with Michael Jackson, they're always
like: "Oh my god, you were molested?" But no. Actually it was 100%
consensual and I wasn't a minor or anything. I can't say whether he's a
pedophile, but he's definitely gay. I won't go into the details of how we
first met, but it was thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

There's all the rumors about Michael being a pre-op transsexual and that's
totally not true. The only weird thing was that his pubes were waxed into
a landing strip, which didn't bother me because I'm bisexual.

I remember that his face did look a little funny, though. I think he'd
just had surgery and it was all sunken in around the nose. But my memory
is really hazy, because when I wasn't wearing the blindfold, my face was
shoved into the pillow.

People always think that sleeping with Michael would be creepy or
something. But it was actually totally sweet and normal. At every turn, he
was like: "Can I tickle your perineum?" or "Can I cum on your face?" Super
respectful.

The media's totally made Michael out to be this monster and I think that's
so wrong. I don't know if he did what people say he did. But I know what
he did to me. And I know that he did it out of love."

Well, this was clearly the winner, as most of the other jokes were retreads from 8th grade. creativity people!

Mr. Sams and a guest will have free tickets to the THRILLER PARTY this Friday at Café Montmartre, come and try to spot the "twisted" young fellow.